Hurt

I’m hurting.

You are hurting.

We all experience hurt but often taught to be strong and not cry over spilled milk. Not every situation is “spilled milk” some situations are Rivers and Oceans of pain.

People keep so much bottled in their hearts because folks don’t want to hear it. Or is that what we tell ourselves?

The time is now to express it all. We express our goals, happiness and material things but we can’t cry, scream or share the fears that lie within.

You aren’t alone. Help is there. I’m here.

Nicole Cherise ♥️

My feelings on Colorism amongst Black people.

Happy Monday friends!

Over the weekend, I’ve read articles in regards to colorism amongst Black people. The Light skin vs. Dark skin issues, dating preferences and what is truly considered beauty. Many of us know that for many years there has been a “European” standard, therefore, anything close to resembling that was considered beautiful. Since then, people have become more open-minded about the beauty in darker shades and of those with kinkier hair. We see this in commercials, film and advertisements. However, this tends to still be an issues within our community especially when it comes to dating.

I have no problem with people having a preference of what their type is, just as long as they aren’t putting down people who don’t fit that description. Men and women are able to date whoever they please and I do feel it’s unfair for men to get criticized and women don’t. For example: if a black man prefers light-skinned women or dark-skinned women that shouldn’t be an issue. If he’s not bad mouthing the other group it should be no problem. It is a problem to some women. I wonder if it’s because she might be attracted to him and feels that she was disqualified based on a reason that she has No control over. That woman would go on and call him out and say he’s foul for not liking a group of women. However, women have standards too and some are ridiculous 🤷🏾‍♀️. I know some women who have preference of their men to be: over 6 feet tall, dark and muscular. So that cancels out a shorter, light skin men with a pudge belly, whom could be a really sweet person. But the sistas don’t get called out on that. When a man does let them know how it feels the conversation becomes “different” when it’s truly not.

We also have black people who create a status based on skin tone. Meaning they have associate with certain shades of people so that they can stand out or even feel included. Some people get excited to befriend the woman or man who seems to have it “made” for them. Mind you, that’s a theory that some just put in their own heads.

Hate to write this but this happens even in families. Some relatives are brainwashed and favor certain kids over the next because of their skin tones. I’ve heard stories where BOTH skin tones were ostracized and it’s so wrong. Ignore the family too, they do NOT know better because if they did, we wouldn’t have this discussion. Because let’s face it, some families encourage their children to produce with only certain type of people or skin tones.

Now this post isn’t to make anyone in the black community feel bad. I actually want you to you to take this and do the opposite. I want you to love the skin that you were blessed with! If You meet a woman/man who has a different preference than how you appear, that’s ok wish them well and on to the next one. Don’t get bitter, aim for Better. Love your skin, your features, your hair, God blessed you with it and KNOW that you are amazing! Ignore the insults because at the end of the day, it’s their lost.

Thoughts? Have you felt like this? Let me know below in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise♥️

Plans

I keep reminding myself that no matter how difficult a challenge may be or what I plan to do, it won’t happen if it’s not in God’s Will.

I become worrisome because things are not going my way. I get down and wonder how will this work out because my plans fell through. But then.. God steps in. Not in my timing but in HIS timing. The end result has been Greater than any of my blue prints.

Friends don’t give up. If your plans don’t work out, keep the faith and God will see you through. ☺️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

3 comments

Comparison, a possible tool

Good day friends!

I’m sure most of us has heard the quote by Theodore Roosevelt “Comparison is the Thief of Joy“. Which basically says that if we keep looking at other’s lives, we will ultimately become unhappy of our own. I have so many views on this and I’m sure this is often a topic of discussion amongst people. We can be hypocrites on a topic which imo is Normal.

Yes, if you try to keep up with the Jones’, you will get frustrated if your expectations aren’t met. However, using the Jones’ as a tool could benefit you. Seeing the surface, the glitter, the green grass can be flipped for us to figure out how we can achieve that status on our own.

Some of the ways that we compare ourselves are by our appearance, lifestyle, cars, career choices and more. When we see others living the “Life” that we want, many start to believe that they aren’t adequate. Our bodies aren’t good enough, the nice apartment we have is no longer cool, our car isn’t great anymore, all because we are comparing it to the “ideal”.

We should take the initiative to find ways to be the “challenge”. That “ideal” becomes our goal and we can put our own spin on it. Want a healthier and better body? Get to work. Want to go on extravagant vacations every season? Get more sources of income. Keep grinding to get your dream house and luxury car.

All these things are great and achievable. However, do not Lose yourself. You have to love YOU and be proud of the accomplishments that you have made. Keep your eye on the prize and watch the benefits come!

What are your thoughts? Do you compare yourself with others? Have you made the decision to use that as a tool? Let me know ☺️

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Be Productive

Happy Monday friends!

For many, Monday symbolizes the start of the work week. We have to hustle and bustle to meet deadlines etc.. however, sometimes the Monday blues brings us into a slump. We may feel lazy and unaccomplished.

I, too, get into a slump and often feel overwhelmed. I try to remind myself that I’m not perfect and if I at least try to complete something for the day, then I was productive.

As a MS patient, getting out of the bed can be a challenging task. Some days I truly run out of spoons (spoon theory) because I don’t have the energy. Therefore, I try to keep a positive attitude and do the best that I can.

That’s all we can do. Try to conquer a goal for the day. That can be smiling when someone gives a good morning greeting, take a walk for break, exercise, begin the starting steps to owning your business, and more! Whatever it is and what ever it takes, just try.

I hope this helps someone. Remember, we are in this life journey together. There are others who feel just like you do. I’m here.

Thanks for reading! ~Nicole Cherise♥️

Don’t let them put fear in your heart

Hi friends

I know we live during a time that bullying and people in superior roles can do a lot of intimidating to those they feel are beneath them. However, We have to continue to stand our ground while being respectful.

One thing that I’m learning, is that life is difficult and people will try to make your life difficult as well. We have to choose PEACE over anything. I don’t know about you guys but when there is no peace in my heart, I do not function well nor do I give any task my best performance. It’s just added baggage that I can’t deal with.

I remember a time that my heart would race rapidly whenever I had to speak to someone in a role superior than myself. It was until I developed my own relationship with the Lord and a lot of those fears dwindled down. In a similar post, I realized that people are people but God is God. God is the only One to Fear.

If this is hard for you, please take a breather. Remember, people have to breathe, eat, and sleep just like You. They bleed, experience heartache just like You. Regardless of the amount of money that make or where they live, we are all have a life journey and Fear isn’t an Option.

Thanks for reading

Nicole Cherise

2 comments

Fight against the insecurities

Yes, it’s time to get All the way over ourselves. Ladies, compliment one another. Yes, there is another attractive woman in the same room with you. Y’all both are fly queens, remember that. Fellas, you Do have money and so does the next man, concern yourself with only your pockets. Maybe you could network and build empires for your community. Because we know better we can do better!

-Nicole Cherise

Pointing at them is easy

If we all sat down together, you would hear many stories of triumphs and trials. We would discuss love and hate that we receive from others. We also could discuss our setbacks and who is the blame. How many can point at them self and say “I’m the issue too”?

With our failures and shortcomings, it’s so easy to point the finger and blame others. Many of us don’t take accountability for our part in any of our issues. When this happens, we are pretending to be perfect and act as if we are not human. We are bound to mess up, we will disappoint everyone including Ourselves.

Let’s be accountable for our words and actions. Recognize the faults they we have made. Then Learn and grow from it. After a while, if you continue to run into the same type of situations, no one will believe your “poor me” attitude or monologue. Remember friends, love and respect starts from within.

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️