Month: January 2014

How are you doing?

I recently read an article that was shared on Facebook about questions that should be asked in order to improve our relationships with others.

When you communicate with people, we always say “how are you? Or how’s it going?” The answers usually are “fine, good or ok”, very routine. What if we asked more specific questions often? I believe that if we ask more specific questions not only does it show the other person that you care but it also shows that you listen ( refer to “stop and listen” post). Here are a few examples:

Parents to kid(s):
P: how was school today?
K: fine or ok
Typical response, let’s change it up a bit..
P: so how challenging was that science test? Did your study group help? If so do you think it’s something you should do more often?

That child has no choice but to respond with more than just a one word answer. He or she may even go into a whole dialogue about science which is great!

Marriage/relationship couples

Person a: hey babe how was work?
Person b: it’s was fine
Typical responses.. How could this change?
A: I saw on the news that the stocks dropped, how did that affect your day? Did any of your clients get hit hard?

Your mate will fully answer all the questions and probably think it’s cool that u relate other aspects of life and incorporate it with their career.

Friendships
Friend a- hey what’s up? How’s everything?
Friend b- everything is good can’t complain…, typical right? Let’s get more specific

Friend a: hey how are you? Last time we spoke you were going for a promotion, was it a success? I know how great it would be to get especially since you are moving to a bigger home soon.

Friend b will spill all the beans and give you a chance to listen and KNOW what’s going on with them.

Now of course in all the above examples you have people that are bit more stubborn to open up but trust they will appreciate your efforts to communicate with them. Also be mindful that not all can grasp this concept at first but we live by law of attraction and we DO feed off one another. So, be patient better quality relationships are on the way!

Nikki Rob, MA.

Stop and Listen!

How many of us really know how to Listen?

Can you recall a time when you were expressing your feelings or accomplishments to someone and then all of a sudden the conversation took a turn and became solely about them? Or in a disagreement with you and another person(s), no one could make out anything due to yelling and screaming? Yes, I’m sure we have all been there. What is usually accomplished in those situations? Absolutely nothing.

We live in a world where there are many customs and traditions which comes along with many different views on life choices, religion, family dynamics,career, politics, the media, sports etc.. We must remember:
1. not everyone is meant to be friends
2. everyone will NOT always agree with your opinions and beliefs
3. Sometimes people just want to vent without hearing feedback and if they do want feedback more than likely that will be stated before the story is told.
4. You can’t change people’s thoughts. Once people have an opinion in their heads its little to nothing you can do to make them see things Your way (refer to #2).Other’s are able to change their minds but its on their terms not yours. So accept their position and if you don’t then keep it moving.

Relationships are about Relating therefore, how you communicate is key. Try to listen before you speak or just be silent. To get your point across you don’t have to yell and shout. Yelling and shouting only raises your blood pressure and creates more disrespect between you and the person you are talking to.

In this upcoming week, I challenge everyone to LISTEN more and find other creative ways to get your point across without interrupting someone or yelling at them. Let me know how it goes!

Nikki

Who Inspires You?

Today, people around the US and world give recognition to Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

He was a man of peace and lived by the principles of Agape Love. I would say He is an inspiration to many including myself. When I hear his speeches and read his thoughts, I want to do better.

Is there anyone who inspires you? Do you get the need to want to do better and become better? Whom ever this may be for you rather they are living or have passed on, be the change you want to see in the world. Nothing is to big or small for you to accomplish.

Nikki

Are you wearing your crown?

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I hope you are! How do you look at yourself? Royalty? A peasant?
You don’t have to be rich to wear your own crown and no it doesn’t have to be one that’s visible either. Your crown can be imaginary that’s only seen by you but your attitude will reflect that you are a King or Queen.
Walk to the beat of your own drum and keep your head up! Let your light shine through šŸ™‚

Nikki

Relationships

You ever wonder why it’s so easy to tell anyone besides your significant other that you are unhappy? Or why people stay with someone that IS emotionally draining?

Many of us rely on others to fulfill our happiness but when it’s not happening then what? Everything becomes a routine, there is no fun and probably not much romance either. Take back the wheel!

You have to love yourself first and KNOW what you want. If your SOS is not making your love tank overflow tell him or her. They are not mind readers and could possibly be feeling the same way.

If you are in a relationship that is emotionally draining and you feel you need him or her because you don’t want to be lonely, gain back your dependence.
You are expecting someone else to call the shots for your emotions. The fear of being lonely calls for desperate measures in people. You would be willing to go against your moral values, accept infidelity, disrespect on a regular basis all because you think you NEED him or her.
I suggest you do some internal soul searching. There is a deep-rooted reasoning for the types of intimate relationships you build.

Feel free to email on FB inbox me anytime!
Nikki

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Who is the driver of Your Life?

When it comes to your destiny, are you the driver, passenger or sitting in the back seat?

Many of us allow others to take control of our wheel and are often dissatisfied with the outcome.
Do you plan to live like this forever? I’m sure you can’t possibly be happy.

There are toxic people that we encounter on a daily basis that have too much control over our lives. In return we are depressed, have low self esteem, or settle for poor relationships.

Take control back!
You owe it to yourself, reclaim your seat behind the wheel of your life journey.

If any one is interested in chatting privately feel free to email me.

Nikki

2014

New Year…. New YOU!

Everyone makes new year resolutions and more than likely after February they are broken.

I too, was apart of the crowd that was suppose to give up this or join that and in the end I just felt like a quitter. So for the last 3 years I stopped making resolutions and decided to learn better so that I could do better.

All the petty drama that you were experiencing last year let it go.

If there are toxic people in your life, let them go too (remember the 5 influences)

Do something that you’ve never done before. Maybe it’s a career change, or a new hobby, traveling etc..

Good luck in the new year!