Category: challenges

Where is the love Wednesdays: picking your battles

Hey everyone! It’s Hump Day but on my blog it’s “Where is the Love? Wednesdays”. Today’s topic is picking your battles.

When you and your significant other have decided to have courtship; you’ve decided that you both are committed  and are working towards getting engaged then married. This time period you both are madly in love, spend plenty of time together and have learned each other. When I say learned each other I’m referring to knowing:

  1. What he or she likes/dislikes
  2. Their strengths and imperfections 
  3. Their goals in life (family,career, personal etc..)
  4. You also continue to see the beauty in him or her and the not so beautiful aspect as well. 

With that being noted, couples will clearly bump heads about things. Even the “perfect pair” will have arguments. Rather it’s big or small, arguments will come but which ones are worth having is up to you. I always advise friends to pick your battles in their relationship. The last thing you want is to be feuding with your partner 60% of your time shared especially when in two weeks you wont truly remember why the frustrations took place. 

You want to be able to have peace with the love of your life for sanity purposes too. Think about it, people every day will try to knock you down and belittle you, the last thing you need is to be at war with your sweetheart non-stop. Therefore, choosing your battles  is vital during these times. If that means you may have to take a walk, blow off some steam at the gym, say a silent prayer to be more calm so be it. Do what you need to cause less friction in your relationship so that you can effectively communicate with your other half.

I hope these tips help. Thanks for reading friends!

Nicole Cherise 

Dont apologize for your blessings or greatness 

Hey all!!

Today, I want to discuss what to do when someone tries make you feel bad for the great things happening in your life. 

We have all heard the phrase, “misery loves company”. It’s very real and true and unfortunately it can be from those close to you. You can come with the best news; that promotion you have been waiting on, ideas to start a business, getting pregnant, engaged, a home, yet they still find a way to add their complaints and make you feel bad for sharing. Some even discuss their sadness of why that can’t be them, a real guilt trip. Did it ever make you feel bad?

I can say that this has happened to me on some occasions . It seemed like every time something good was happening in my life, there was always that one person that made me feel like ” am I bragging?” or is she giving me shade because she’s mad? Either way, it wasn’t a good feeling and I shouldn’t have to feel like apologizing for the blessings I was receiving. 

So what are some tips you should do if this occurs :

  1. Don’t let a person rain on your parade. Continue to keep shining and bring more sun shine if you have to. People hate to see you happy, so keep succeeding and give them a reason to be mad. 
  2. If you want to go the encouraging  route, let them know that their time is coming and to be patient. 
  3. If the negative vibes is too much, close the door on that friendship/relationship. If they truly love you as a person, they would Not make you feel bad for the greatness that is going on in your life. 

I hope these points help friends. Continue to work hard, and accomplish your goals. The real supportive people know that when one is winning, we ALL are winning. 

Thanks for reading, re-blogging, sharing and following!

Nicole Cherise

Networking

Hey guys! 

Question… Does networking come easy to any of you? 

We live in a busy world and its all about who you know. Closed mouths don’t get fed, so if you seek, you shall find; ask and you shall receive. 

I will be first to admit that I freeze when it comes to networking. I am naturally a “people” person but the fear of rejection becomes my excuse. Yes, excuses is what it is. 

This is one reason to why I’ve decided to become more serious about blogging and  sharing a piece of me to the cyber world. I have hopes and dreams and Now is the time to ACT. 

How about you all? Are you having success with Networking?

Thank you for reading and sharing 

Nicole Cherise

My Faith and Support System…saved me

Many who know me, are aware that I battle Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  I was diagnosed at the age of 24, a few months before my 25th birthday. The journey hasn’t always been great however, if it wasn’t for my faith and support system, I don’t know how or where I would be. 

I made a choice that giving up wasn’t an option, especially when I have people who need me.  Regardless of how unpredictable MS may be, I know that God is with me as well. 

So, I’m constantly hearing “you don’t look sick” or “I would never know” and it’s because I continue to smile. I’ve adapted the ability to pretend in public that all is well even when it’s not. However, God, my husband, parents extended family and close friends have seen me at my worst. None of them turned their backs on me when I needed it the most, especially now that I’m a mother.  Words can never truly express how much they mean to me therefore I can’t give up. Giving up is NOT an option. Thank you God, thank you all, you saved me. 

To anyone who may be battling something rather it be health issues, mental health or just emotions, feel free to contact me.  Nicolecherise723@gmail.com

Nicole Cherise 

Deep-rooted issues does take a toll on relationships

Nature vs. Nurture has always been the big debate of what makes us who we are. In my opinion I believe it’s both along with biological factors. We get our moral values from our up raising/how we were nurtured by our families and we pick up our personality habits from nature/ our environment. Then how we “tick” can be inherited as well.

There is no perfect family or life, if you come across someone who said they had the perfect life, they are lying and are telling their imaginary life stories just to draw you in. Everyone has a history regardless good or not good and it molds us into the person we are today.

For example, If you have trust issues because of family secrets or from dating experiences, you need to battle those feelings out before you decide to give a person a chance. It’s not fair to the other person to be dragged along with your emotions because you didn’t have yourself together. It’s also not fair to yourself to not have complete happiness.

Express your feelings. It’s possible that by opening up to one another, you may discover that he or she has similar experiences or emotions they are struggling with as well. The support given can bring a lot of positive to your lives.

So friends, tackle your past but don’t stay there. You are not destined to be in a screwed-up situation and you will only have what you put out.
Peace,
Nikki

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Patience is a virtue

I know we have heard this phrase plenty of times. Our elders say “don’t rush things”, “your time is coming”, or “you have to wait”. Most of the time it could have been a contest we wanted to win or wanted to do something that we were to young to do. Question is now: What about adulthood?

As adults, we work, have responsibilities and want to live a certain life style. We have an attitude that things need to be quick and in our hands immediately but like our elders said “you have to wait”. Just because you have to wait does to mean u sit on a stoop and count sheep, no you have to continue to work hard to have what ever it is you have lined up.

If it’s a relationship that you want to have, don’t worry even though you haven’t met him or her on the first few dates doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t exist. It can be many factors to why you weren’t aligned to meet yet or if you have met, possibly the opportunity isn’t right at that moment. Just don’t give up, keep bettering yourself and it all will work out.

If it’s career decisions, that too will work out. Rather it’s a business you are starting, that dream job or promotion, it will be your turn soon. You will be successful and it all does come together. Keep trying, don’t give up.

Patience is a Virtue….

Forgive and Letting Go

Forgiveness and Moving on (letting go)

Two things that should go hand in hand yet so challenging.
When someone does something to hurt you, for most its easier to just stay mad at them and cut them out of your life. What if it were a family member? a best friend from childhood? or your life partner? Not that simple? Indeed, it can be more difficult to turn the other cheek when it involves people you love and care about.

In our minds, we expect our closest to “KNOW BETTER” when in reality they are human. Humans are not perfect and will mess up. Your closest will say hurtful things, do hurtful things and let you down. Guess what?…So will YOU.

I do understand, that we all have limits. If someone (even the closest to you) did something beyond your limits and you can’t allow yourself to forgive them, ok so be it. I do believe that you need to Let go, so you can be able to live your life to the fullest. It doesn’t make sense to mope around in a depressive state when the other person is going to bed happy at night. On the other hand, if you do decide to forgive them, you have to communicate.

Communication aka Reconciliation can help you come to better terms. Express how the events made you feel and how you can work towards making the relationship better. Allow the person to express themself and clear his or her conscious as well. You will be surprised of the reasonings behind their actions regardless of your disapproval.
Think about it, havent you made someone upset or had an argument and wanted to get your point across? or tell your reasoning for what you did or didn’t do? I guess you expect people to give you another chance as well right? It goes BOTH ways friends.

This will not be an easy task to achieve and you may Not like it, but the benefit of relieving stress and letting go of toxic anger, is worth it for your mind, body and soul.

Nikki Rob., MA

Stop and Listen!

How many of us really know how to Listen?

Can you recall a time when you were expressing your feelings or accomplishments to someone and then all of a sudden the conversation took a turn and became solely about them? Or in a disagreement with you and another person(s), no one could make out anything due to yelling and screaming? Yes, I’m sure we have all been there. What is usually accomplished in those situations? Absolutely nothing.

We live in a world where there are many customs and traditions which comes along with many different views on life choices, religion, family dynamics,career, politics, the media, sports etc.. We must remember:
1. not everyone is meant to be friends
2. everyone will NOT always agree with your opinions and beliefs
3. Sometimes people just want to vent without hearing feedback and if they do want feedback more than likely that will be stated before the story is told.
4. You can’t change people’s thoughts. Once people have an opinion in their heads its little to nothing you can do to make them see things Your way (refer to #2).Other’s are able to change their minds but its on their terms not yours. So accept their position and if you don’t then keep it moving.

Relationships are about Relating therefore, how you communicate is key. Try to listen before you speak or just be silent. To get your point across you don’t have to yell and shout. Yelling and shouting only raises your blood pressure and creates more disrespect between you and the person you are talking to.

In this upcoming week, I challenge everyone to LISTEN more and find other creative ways to get your point across without interrupting someone or yelling at them. Let me know how it goes!

Nikki