Category: challenges

Forgive and Letting Go

Forgiveness and Moving on (letting go)

Two things that should go hand in hand yet so challenging.
When someone does something to hurt you, for most its easier to just stay mad at them and cut them out of your life. What if it were a family member? a best friend from childhood? or your life partner? Not that simple? Indeed, it can be more difficult to turn the other cheek when it involves people you love and care about.

In our minds, we expect our closest to “KNOW BETTER” when in reality they are human. Humans are not perfect and will mess up. Your closest will say hurtful things, do hurtful things and let you down. Guess what?…So will YOU.

I do understand, that we all have limits. If someone (even the closest to you) did something beyond your limits and you can’t allow yourself to forgive them, ok so be it. I do believe that you need to Let go, so you can be able to live your life to the fullest. It doesn’t make sense to mope around in a depressive state when the other person is going to bed happy at night. On the other hand, if you do decide to forgive them, you have to communicate.

Communication aka Reconciliation can help you come to better terms. Express how the events made you feel and how you can work towards making the relationship better. Allow the person to express themself and clear his or her conscious as well. You will be surprised of the reasonings behind their actions regardless of your disapproval.
Think about it, havent you made someone upset or had an argument and wanted to get your point across? or tell your reasoning for what you did or didn’t do? I guess you expect people to give you another chance as well right? It goes BOTH ways friends.

This will not be an easy task to achieve and you may Not like it, but the benefit of relieving stress and letting go of toxic anger, is worth it for your mind, body and soul.

Nikki Rob., MA

Stop and Listen!

How many of us really know how to Listen?

Can you recall a time when you were expressing your feelings or accomplishments to someone and then all of a sudden the conversation took a turn and became solely about them? Or in a disagreement with you and another person(s), no one could make out anything due to yelling and screaming? Yes, I’m sure we have all been there. What is usually accomplished in those situations? Absolutely nothing.

We live in a world where there are many customs and traditions which comes along with many different views on life choices, religion, family dynamics,career, politics, the media, sports etc.. We must remember:
1. not everyone is meant to be friends
2. everyone will NOT always agree with your opinions and beliefs
3. Sometimes people just want to vent without hearing feedback and if they do want feedback more than likely that will be stated before the story is told.
4. You can’t change people’s thoughts. Once people have an opinion in their heads its little to nothing you can do to make them see things Your way (refer to #2).Other’s are able to change their minds but its on their terms not yours. So accept their position and if you don’t then keep it moving.

Relationships are about Relating therefore, how you communicate is key. Try to listen before you speak or just be silent. To get your point across you don’t have to yell and shout. Yelling and shouting only raises your blood pressure and creates more disrespect between you and the person you are talking to.

In this upcoming week, I challenge everyone to LISTEN more and find other creative ways to get your point across without interrupting someone or yelling at them. Let me know how it goes!

Nikki