This is the sad but true case for many families. How can an adult bring their emotions and vulnerability to their interpersonal relationships if that tool wasn’t given? Should EVERYTHING fall on the parents? No. However, emotional support to your children is just as important as physical and financial support.
Has this been you? Did you turn to another family member to provide that emotional support? Or did you find yourself doing the work on your own with a therapist?
We can’t assume that it came easy or free! Many of these people are living the life that we want to have but it took blood, sweat and tears to get there. These people failed many times, received one rejection after the other but didn’t give up.
Has this been you? Have you had a moment when you saw the CEO and their car? Or maybe that power couple on the ultimate baecation. Yes, it’s all beautiful and achievable. Just remember, what’s for you is for you and your time WILL come.
Continue to work hard so that you can play hard! Don’t give in and don’t give up!
The saying “Being Strong is the only option” is a True inspirational statement. However, I believe we need to add: “but don’t forget that you are human”. Many of us are raised by people that we see as strong and they taught us to keep it together when trying times come.
We aren’t always advised to cry it out, or to seek therapy because society associates those things as a sign of weakness. The reality is, society does not want us to be Vulnerable. The interesting thing is that being vulnerable comes from our inner emotions…. Emotions something we are born with.
From birth we learn to cry to get the attention of our caregiver. When we feel uncomfortable or scared we seek protection from our caregiver (you can check out Bowlby’s development theory for that). Why does that change as we grow? As stated previously, as we grow our caregivers want us to be strong and I believe it’s because we won’t always have them to protect us from this world.
As a woman, I can say this IS a struggle for me daily. I’m sensitive, empathetic, prideful and strong, but I get overwhelmed because I want to do everything and be everything for everyone. I want to be Wonder Woman for my family, but often I fall apart. Wearing so many hats and masks does take a toll on our mental well-being but yet it doesn’t matter until we have a breakdown.
I’m learning that it’s ok to NOT be ok and It’s ok to voice that. We are wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, grand daughters, cousins, teachers, nurses, lawyers, ministers all in one and so many depend on us to be that for them. These same people need to understand that we Are Human too. For many of them, this won’t be easy for them to understand, but it’s vital that you make them understand your needs.
Ladies, I hope this resonates you to acknowledge that it’s ok to need a “time out”. You are human, and deserve to receive the love and support that you desire. Hold on, don’t give up.
When the wounds are fresh, it hurts like hell. The Pain runs deep. At some point we have to decide if we want to heal ourselves or let the wound get infected, which could lead to serious consequences.
When we choose to heal, we apply medication to clean and protect the wound from infection and oh man it stings! Then we wrap it with bandages, sometimes the assistance of stitches may be needed, but we patiently wait for a scar to form.
How does this apply to the emotional wounds in our lives? The Pain is real and does feel physical for some cases. However, at some point we have to choose healing because the toxicity of the hurt we endured can ruin any chance of happiness or peace that we desire.
Sometimes we need assistance from a counselor/therapist to help with the deeper wounds that can’t just be wrapped up at the surface. It requires more work, resources and tools to find peace, but it IS obtainable.
The scar appears. The hurt isn’t fresh anymore, but the scar will always be a reminder of where we were and where we came from. We, Are Healed…..
Something that weighs heavy on my heart is the term experience and what it means in our lives. We know the definition of experience means: practical knowledge, skill, or practice derived from direct observation of or participation in events or in a particular activity.
We tend to read literature of how to do something, or how to be better at something, but yet we still can feel lost. We tend to think we are inadequate if we don’t use the big words like the scholars, or if someone is older, we feel more of a subordinate.
Listen, forget all of that! We DO have experience. Rather, it’s parenting, marriage, a religious calling, technology, etc.. If you have done it for a while, then you are worth being listened to.
As I write this message to you, I’m talking to myself as well. We are capable of so much, but let formal education or our youthfulness get in the way. Don’t settle yourself short, you are wiser than you think.
One of the biggest lessons that I’m learning is that BALANCE is necessary. The Highs and Lows, the Sunshine and Thunderstorms, are Needed. I find that it keeps us grounded, we learn, we grow and it’s humbling.
Think of being back in High school. You might not have been the best English or Math student and no matter how much you studied, your test marks didn’t go above a “C”. However, one day you DID receive a high remark on a test. I don’t know about you, but I know that I felt like I was on cloud 9 when I finally scored a B or better! It was at that moment when we realize ok, this IS not my subject, but I will continue to give my all.
Don’t give in during the Lows and Thunderstorms of Life. It is NOT easy and requires a lot determination and strength, but you can do it. Clear your thoughts, have fun with some loved ones, write in your journal, and set affirmations. You got this!
Many of us have battles that runs deeper than the 👁 can see. The trauma of Life has given us scars. Sometimes we even Battle against ourselves. I urge, that even in the dark, please let Your Light Shine through. You Are Amazing, You are More than Enough. ☀️✨✨✨