Category: People

Where is the love Wednesday: can a person truly be in love with two people or is it in Lust with two people instead?

Hey friends! Happy Hump day!

I want to discuss a topic that I’ve always questioned when I hear people speak about being in love with two people. No, this has never been me. So of course my stance is Not bible nor how things should be. I’m just curious, is it really Love or Lust?

Love… a feeling, an act that is shown in different ways and often communicated amongst many in intimate relationships (in this case romantic ones). Some feel that when you love someone their needs become a priority just as your own.

Lust.. a feeling and an act as well from chemistry between individuals (usually sexual). Some could say when your in Lust with someone it’s solely your needs and wants only.

As a Millennial, I notice that our generation and of course others have a problem with communicating, being vulnerable enough to allow someone to come in our inner circle, trust and wanting committed relationships. There are so many options : remain single, date around, get married, get divorced, remarry etc…

Now, with stating some of the issues that people face in dating/courting, is it possible for someone who has a hard time being vulnerable, to truly be in love with two people? I do believe you can be attracted to two people at the same time and like them for different reasons but Love?

As I said, my feelings are my feelings and not law. What do you guys think? Has this been you? Have you been in love with two people at once? Let me hear your thoughts.

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Peace….. Happiness

So much weighs on our minds.

Too much weighs on our hearts.

For many of us, we have to take everything that we deal with, one day at a time.

All the tasks aren’t getting done due to us being overwhelmed with the many distractions that get in the way.

How do we overcome this? How do we find balance? How do we find happiness? My suggestion is to get Peace first.

Having peace is vital and it can help us see the “BIG” picture clearer. We could possibly find solutions to things that are problematic. With Peace comes Acceptance and Happiness will follow not too far behind. Have you struggled with finding happiness? Do you believe you have peace in your life? I’m working on it and pray to get there one day! I hope the same for you all as well.

Thanks for reading friends,

Nicole Cherise ♥️

My feelings on Colorism amongst Black people.

Happy Monday friends!

Over the weekend, I’ve read articles in regards to colorism amongst Black people. The Light skin vs. Dark skin issues, dating preferences and what is truly considered beauty. Many of us know that for many years there has been a “European” standard, therefore, anything close to resembling that was considered beautiful. Since then, people have become more open-minded about the beauty in darker shades and of those with kinkier hair. We see this in commercials, film and advertisements. However, this tends to still be an issues within our community especially when it comes to dating.

I have no problem with people having a preference of what their type is, just as long as they aren’t putting down people who don’t fit that description. Men and women are able to date whoever they please and I do feel it’s unfair for men to get criticized and women don’t. For example: if a black man prefers light-skinned women or dark-skinned women that shouldn’t be an issue. If he’s not bad mouthing the other group it should be no problem. It is a problem to some women. I wonder if it’s because she might be attracted to him and feels that she was disqualified based on a reason that she has No control over. That woman would go on and call him out and say he’s foul for not liking a group of women. However, women have standards too and some are ridiculous 🤷🏾‍♀️. I know some women who have preference of their men to be: over 6 feet tall, dark and muscular. So that cancels out a shorter, light skin men with a pudge belly, whom could be a really sweet person. But the sistas don’t get called out on that. When a man does let them know how it feels the conversation becomes “different” when it’s truly not.

We also have black people who create a status based on skin tone. Meaning they have associate with certain shades of people so that they can stand out or even feel included. Some people get excited to befriend the woman or man who seems to have it “made” for them. Mind you, that’s a theory that some just put in their own heads.

Hate to write this but this happens even in families. Some relatives are brainwashed and favor certain kids over the next because of their skin tones. I’ve heard stories where BOTH skin tones were ostracized and it’s so wrong. Ignore the family too, they do NOT know better because if they did, we wouldn’t have this discussion. Because let’s face it, some families encourage their children to produce with only certain type of people or skin tones.

Now this post isn’t to make anyone in the black community feel bad. I actually want you to you to take this and do the opposite. I want you to love the skin that you were blessed with! If You meet a woman/man who has a different preference than how you appear, that’s ok wish them well and on to the next one. Don’t get bitter, aim for Better. Love your skin, your features, your hair, God blessed you with it and KNOW that you are amazing! Ignore the insults because at the end of the day, it’s their lost.

Thoughts? Have you felt like this? Let me know below in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise♥️

Comparison, a possible tool

Good day friends!

I’m sure most of us has heard the quote by Theodore Roosevelt “Comparison is the Thief of Joy“. Which basically says that if we keep looking at other’s lives, we will ultimately become unhappy of our own. I have so many views on this and I’m sure this is often a topic of discussion amongst people. We can be hypocrites on a topic which imo is Normal.

Yes, if you try to keep up with the Jones’, you will get frustrated if your expectations aren’t met. However, using the Jones’ as a tool could benefit you. Seeing the surface, the glitter, the green grass can be flipped for us to figure out how we can achieve that status on our own.

Some of the ways that we compare ourselves are by our appearance, lifestyle, cars, career choices and more. When we see others living the “Life” that we want, many start to believe that they aren’t adequate. Our bodies aren’t good enough, the nice apartment we have is no longer cool, our car isn’t great anymore, all because we are comparing it to the “ideal”.

We should take the initiative to find ways to be the “challenge”. That “ideal” becomes our goal and we can put our own spin on it. Want a healthier and better body? Get to work. Want to go on extravagant vacations every season? Get more sources of income. Keep grinding to get your dream house and luxury car.

All these things are great and achievable. However, do not Lose yourself. You have to love YOU and be proud of the accomplishments that you have made. Keep your eye on the prize and watch the benefits come!

What are your thoughts? Do you compare yourself with others? Have you made the decision to use that as a tool? Let me know ☺️

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Pointing at them is easy

If we all sat down together, you would hear many stories of triumphs and trials. We would discuss love and hate that we receive from others. We also could discuss our setbacks and who is the blame. How many can point at them self and say “I’m the issue too”?

With our failures and shortcomings, it’s so easy to point the finger and blame others. Many of us don’t take accountability for our part in any of our issues. When this happens, we are pretending to be perfect and act as if we are not human. We are bound to mess up, we will disappoint everyone including Ourselves.

Let’s be accountable for our words and actions. Recognize the faults they we have made. Then Learn and grow from it. After a while, if you continue to run into the same type of situations, no one will believe your “poor me” attitude or monologue. Remember friends, love and respect starts from within.

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Fear No One

There comes a time in life when you have to stand up for yourself and put fear aside. Many people will use their power to control people. I can admit, whenever I’ve dealt with anyone above me, there was this sense of nervousness. Some people I felt were even Bullies… It didn’t change until one of my superiors told me one day, “I’m human like you”.

Hearing those words made me realize that the “higher ups” and powerful people do cry, they do have worries, they do experience Defeat. Meanwhile, I just always assumed their Life was GRAND. That was day I also told myself to only Fear God.period.

I share this because we need to remember: No One should hold fear in our hearts. Your superiors, rather its at home or at work, are to be Respected, Not Feared. These people can get hurt and bleed just like you and me. Never let anyone make you feel as if you are Nothing. You’re worth matters even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Thanks for Reading

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Ain’t I a Lady?

Let me start by writing: this is NOT a man bashing post or a holier than Thou Sermon but simply a reality.

I’m a proud black woman. I consider myself Feminine and classy. Over the years, I notice that many generations have this idea of what a lady should be and her roles. We have come far from the beginning of time. Even though, I consider myself “traditional with an old soul”, I still can’t get with the Nonsense that continues to happen to women.

In the news, it’s so many sexual attacks or harassment scandals that are coming to the light. There are so many hashtags of “me too”, which I was included in. Its 2017, and I have to constantly worry about my clothing because people are rude or can’t keep their hands to themselves. Women are still in physical, emotional and verbal abusive relationships with the “no way out” mentality. Many are treated as a possession only.

So tell me Friends… if we are suppose to be soft-spoken, nurturing, forgiving , open-minded, etc., who is fighting for us? Many can answer: significant others, family members, male friends but not all have that. Some of the same people that want us to conduct ourselves like ladies at all the times, are the same ones degrading and abusing. Those people include fellow Women as well.

What are your thoughts friends?

Nicole Cherise ❤️

They’re cool to turn up with but can they stimulate your mind?

Hi great people!
A lot of people use the term “friend” too loosely these days. We yearn to find people that we can have a good time with and equally share a “not a care in the world” attitude. However, what about associating with people who can mentally have an affect on you?

Motivate my mind.. Please!
Can you relate? Are the people that you spend time with yearning for knowledge and finding truth? Or at least encouraging you to do more? 
Let me know your thoughts below 😊
Nicole Cherise 

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