Category: Relationships

My feelings on Colorism amongst Black people.

Happy Monday friends!

Over the weekend, I’ve read articles in regards to colorism amongst Black people. The Light skin vs. Dark skin issues, dating preferences and what is truly considered beauty. Many of us know that for many years there has been a “European” standard, therefore, anything close to resembling that was considered beautiful. Since then, people have become more open-minded about the beauty in darker shades and of those with kinkier hair. We see this in commercials, film and advertisements. However, this tends to still be an issues within our community especially when it comes to dating.

I have no problem with people having a preference of what their type is, just as long as they aren’t putting down people who don’t fit that description. Men and women are able to date whoever they please and I do feel it’s unfair for men to get criticized and women don’t. For example: if a black man prefers light-skinned women or dark-skinned women that shouldn’t be an issue. If he’s not bad mouthing the other group it should be no problem. It is a problem to some women. I wonder if it’s because she might be attracted to him and feels that she was disqualified based on a reason that she has No control over. That woman would go on and call him out and say he’s foul for not liking a group of women. However, women have standards too and some are ridiculous 🤷🏾‍♀️. I know some women who have preference of their men to be: over 6 feet tall, dark and muscular. So that cancels out a shorter, light skin men with a pudge belly, whom could be a really sweet person. But the sistas don’t get called out on that. When a man does let them know how it feels the conversation becomes “different” when it’s truly not.

We also have black people who create a status based on skin tone. Meaning they have associate with certain shades of people so that they can stand out or even feel included. Some people get excited to befriend the woman or man who seems to have it “made” for them. Mind you, that’s a theory that some just put in their own heads.

Hate to write this but this happens even in families. Some relatives are brainwashed and favor certain kids over the next because of their skin tones. I’ve heard stories where BOTH skin tones were ostracized and it’s so wrong. Ignore the family too, they do NOT know better because if they did, we wouldn’t have this discussion. Because let’s face it, some families encourage their children to produce with only certain type of people or skin tones.

Now this post isn’t to make anyone in the black community feel bad. I actually want you to you to take this and do the opposite. I want you to love the skin that you were blessed with! If You meet a woman/man who has a different preference than how you appear, that’s ok wish them well and on to the next one. Don’t get bitter, aim for Better. Love your skin, your features, your hair, God blessed you with it and KNOW that you are amazing! Ignore the insults because at the end of the day, it’s their lost.

Thoughts? Have you felt like this? Let me know below in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise♥️

Shed the Layers with your S/O

Please shed your layers to your significant other. It is extremely difficult to try to figure someone out when they continuously keep on their shields.

I know many stay on defense mode because of past relationship failures and mistreatment. That is understandable, however, you can’t fully commit to someone without giving your true self. True self includes your beauty, flaws, dreams and nightmares etc.

What I’m writing isn’t Law but something that I think is worth a chance. For all you know, you could be missing out on a beautiful companionship all because you don’t want to seem “Soft” or “weak“. Think about it.

thanks for reading friends!

Nicole Cherise !

Where is the Love Wednesday edition: A friend… then A Lover

How many of us really can say we took the time to let a friendship blossom before wanting the Romance with a significant other?

Take a moment to let that Sink in.

Significant other…. What makes them Significant? Best friend(s)… why are they the Best? We don’t take enough time in these categories, especially when it comes to romance. Don’t get me wrong, nothing is wrong with getting swept off your feet, or feeling it was love at first sight because for many that is their love story. Like anything in life, plant the seed, nurture it and watch the growth that takes place.

Has this been you? Have you been haste to enter a romantic relationship and then it failed abruptly? Were you friends? Let me know your thoughts friends!Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

Feel Good Friday: Seek comfort in your S.O. but don’t get too Comfortable. 

Hi friends! Happy Friday to all! 
Isn’t this always the topic of discussion amongst friends? You are deeply in love with your partner. You reached a place in the relationship where you are happy, trusting and loyal to one another. However, some how, you both get too “comfortable”. 
What could too comfortable mean? It differs from one relationship to the other, but a few examples could be:

  1. Less quality time
  2. Less compliments or cute gestures
  3. Less communication
  4. Less saying “I love you”
  5. Appearance
  6. Intimacy
  7. Less hard work to make the relationship work
  8. Lacking responsibilities one once had.

That’s just a few, if you can think of more, please drop it in the comments section. 


Even though those things may seem like minor issues that couples endure, they can become bigger problems down the road. When people ask me for advice in this matter, I’ll tell them to C̶O̶M̶M̶U̶N̶I̶C̶A̶T̶E̶ Effectively Communicate with their significant other. Go into the conversation with an open mind, speak calmly, and be respectful. Also, we have to remember that nothing changes overnight. It takes time, patience and leading by example. 
Has this been anyone else? Can you admit that you’ve gotten too comfortable in your relationship before? Let’s discuss below. 

Thanks for reading!!!
Nicole Cherise ❤️

Where is the love Wednesday: it’s not good to change them

Hi Friends!

This is from my Bible app plan. The topic is motherhood. I completely agree with this devotional by Karen. 

Many times in a relationship, especially in a marriage, many think they can change their spouses into their “perfect image”. That’s not fair because it will cause conflict between the two. When you said “I Do” it was to all of them not just some or the parts you like of them. 

Welcome to the comfort zone 


Just a reminder for couples. Never Stop dating, don’t stop effectively communicating, get “dolled” up, be intimate, remain best friends. That’s only a few of the things that started the foundation of a relationship. Unfortunately, over time, many couples become too “relaxed” or it becomes “boring” and it’s because they have become too comfortable. 

The good news is, a couple can always spice things up or change up their “routine”. Things can get better as long as both people want to do better. 
What are your thoughts?
Thanks great people for reading!
Nicole Cherise ❤️

The truth and Love

Hi great people!

Every so often, ill hear someone say that “Love has given up on them”. I do NOT agree with that statement. Yes, we may experience failed relationships, but Love didn’t fail us, the people did.

Just as people love to say all Men are dogs and all Women are horrible, that is not the Truth. The truth is, your choices in men and women haven’t been the best ones. There are STILL good people to date, court and have healthy marriages with. If you  Change your mindset, you can change your outcome. Think about it friends.

Thanks for reading.

Nicole Cherise ❤️ 

Improvement vs Changing of your Significant Other


I always had the idea that if I truly wanted my husband to change, that he would no longer be the man that I fell in love with. If anything during almost 17 years of being together, I would make suggestions of areas of improvement. I didn’t need him to be the perfect boyfriend/fiance/husband but I always him to be his best and I encouraged that. He did the same for me as well. 
A lot of times, while dating, people tend to want to “change or fix” their mate. My guess is that we have an ideal image of what we want of our mate and people try to mold them into that. Nothing is wrong with seeing the potential that your other half could have but when you try to change them, that could cause resentment. They may start to feel inadequate when it comes to you.
If there are things that your significant other needs to work on, my advice is to effectively communicate with them. Speak with him or her, not At them. My next advice is to give them a chance to improve. Nothing happens over night, so please be fair to them in that regard. Lastly, be willing to hear improvements for yourself. You can’t be the only one giving critiques and not willing to get them as well. ☺️ I hope this helps friends! What are your thoughts?
Thanks for reading friends!! 
Nicole Cherise ❤️

Don’t let them hold you back!

Hi friends!

Isn’t this happening a little too much these days? There was a time where life partners believed in one another’s dreams. They were each other’s biggest fan. Unfortunately, for some, it’s a competition or selfish motives for some couples now. 

That’s awful and very sad to hear. It’s hard enough battling forces in the world, but to come home to someone who doesn’t support you is heartbreaking. Therefore, I suggest letting them go. Will it be easy? No. However, you will see later that they are holding you back. Think about it. A Relationship takes two people who are willing to be selfless and supportive. Is that what you have?

Thanks Great People for reading! Feel free to follow my blog and share!
Nicole Cherise ❤