So I was listening to “ask Angela Yee” on the breakfast club this morning and a guy called asking what to do about the lack of love he is receiving from his lady. He was questioning should he leave the relationship or stay and “do him”? Later he revealed that he cheated in the past and she forgave him but has still been cold and distant.
My response is this: once you have cheated on someone the trust is broken and needs to be repaired. Every time your partner looks at you they could have flashes of you looking and touching another the same way. That is not an easy pill to swallow. However, they looked deep in their hearts and forgave you.
You MUST be patient with your significant other. You can’t just have this “I said sorry so get over it attitude”. That is another selfish act of you when you do that. We all handle things differently and getting cheated on to some is like grieving because of piece of them died (trust) and things won’t be the same.
Hope does prevail though. If your partner was able to forgive, I suggest that you do all that is possible so that you are NOT in a position to cheat again, treat your man or woman like the King and Queen that they are, give the security that it is all about you both to move forward, and be PATIENT to just to name a few. If you can’t do this or think it’s too much then let them go.
On the other side, if you DID decide to forgive your partner for cheating it doesn’t mean you should forget but you do have find a way to move past their indiscretion. I’m not saying the next day you act like nothing has happened but if you throw it in their face everyday maybe you should re-think if you truly forgive them. If it’s too hard it’s ok for it to be a deal breaker no matter how much it hurts. You have to do what’s best for you and your sanity.
What are your thoughts?
Hey everyone! It’s Hump Day but on my blog it’s “Where is the Love? Wednesdays”. Today’s topic is picking your battles.
When you and your significant other have decided to have courtship; you’ve decided that you both are committed and are working towards getting engaged then married. This time period you both are madly in love, spend plenty of time together and have learned each other. When I say learned each other I’m referring to knowing:
- What he or she likes/dislikes
- Their strengths and imperfections
- Their goals in life (family,career, personal etc..)
- You also continue to see the beauty in him or her and the not so beautiful aspect as well.
With that being noted, couples will clearly bump heads about things. Even the “perfect pair” will have arguments. Rather it’s big or small, arguments will come but which ones are worth having is up to you. I always advise friends to pick your battles in their relationship. The last thing you want is to be feuding with your partner 60% of your time shared especially when in two weeks you wont truly remember why the frustrations took place.
You want to be able to have peace with the love of your life for sanity purposes too. Think about it, people every day will try to knock you down and belittle you, the last thing you need is to be at war with your sweetheart non-stop. Therefore, choosing your battles is vital during these times. If that means you may have to take a walk, blow off some steam at the gym, say a silent prayer to be more calm so be it. Do what you need to cause less friction in your relationship so that you can effectively communicate with your other half.
I hope these tips help. Thanks for reading friends!
Are the windows of our souls
I wanted to discuss the importance of spending time during the first year of marriage. Any stage of marriage is very important but many say the hardest is the first year. I believe it’s because two souls are becoming one and learning to juggle the “newness” of marriage to your relationship.
On 8/9, my husband and I will celebrate 3 years of marriage. We are high school sweethearts and we basically grew up together as a couple. I believe this has helped us during the first year. We are each other’s best friend and loved spending time together. Which brings me to say that for newlyweds: Please spend time with your spouse.
With having a busy schedule from work, we tend to see our co-workers more than our family aka your new husband/wife. So, if you don’t make time for your spouse, what are you truly doing with your time? You must find a balance. Even though you are married it doesn’t mean that you lose your identity or should distant yourself from friends but it would be good to always consider your spouse on some “down time”.
What are your thoughts? Do you think spending time with your spouse weighs a lot during the first year?
Through out my life I’ve heard many people say “you have let a man be a man”. Now, what does this mean?
- Let him have his male ego. Let him be “macho” or feel like it at least.
- When he needs his time, let him do so with the guys, blah blah blah
- Let him have responsibility and take control of some situations.
Do I agree with all the statements above? No, however, I would never disrespect a man’s manhood and I give respect especially when it is returned.
Now what about women? Does anyone ever say “you have to let her be a woman?” Nope, at least I’ve never heard it before. As a woman, I consider my self intelligent, loving, sensitive, emotional, nurturing, supportive, just to name a few traits. So if I had to give a few suggestions of “let her be a woman” it would be ( my words are not law, so ladies feel free to chime in )
- Let a woman vent even if you think it’s petty or “not that serious”. More than likely we like who we are sharing our thoughts with so just listen.
- Don’t make us feel like our feelings don’t matter. Even the roughest/toughest women out there, still have feelings. Don’t laugh at us or place our feelings on a back burner, just because you feel that you would never take whatever we are upset about to the heart.
- Don’t take our love or how we give our love for granted. There is nothing more hurtful than when you give you’re all to your significant other and it’s ignored.
We are all beautiful creatures and need to be respectful to one another. I must say I am proud to be a woman, so let me be! Lol 🙂
This topic has been weighing on my mind a lot and since today is “where is the love” Wednesday, I figured why not post it here today? Thanks for reading. If u have any suggestions or would like to chime in please do in the comments section. Thanks guys!!!