You ever wonder why it’s so easy to tell anyone besides your significant other that you are unhappy? Or why people stay with someone that IS emotionally draining?
Many of us rely on others to fulfill our happiness but when it’s not happening then what? Everything becomes a routine, there is no fun and probably not much romance either. Take back the wheel!
You have to love yourself first and KNOW what you want. If your SOS is not making your love tank overflow tell him or her. They are not mind readers and could possibly be feeling the same way.
If you are in a relationship that is emotionally draining and you feel you need him or her because you don’t want to be lonely, gain back your dependence.
You are expecting someone else to call the shots for your emotions. The fear of being lonely calls for desperate measures in people. You would be willing to go against your moral values, accept infidelity, disrespect on a regular basis all because you think you NEED him or her.
I suggest you do some internal soul searching. There is a deep-rooted reasoning for the types of intimate relationships you build.
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When it comes to your destiny, are you the driver, passenger or sitting in the back seat?
Many of us allow others to take control of our wheel and are often dissatisfied with the outcome.
Do you plan to live like this forever? I’m sure you can’t possibly be happy.
There are toxic people that we encounter on a daily basis that have too much control over our lives. In return we are depressed, have low self esteem, or settle for poor relationships.
Take control back!
You owe it to yourself, reclaim your seat behind the wheel of your life journey.
If any one is interested in chatting privately feel free to email me.
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Thanks all for the continued Support
New Year…. New YOU!
Everyone makes new year resolutions and more than likely after February they are broken.
I too, was apart of the crowd that was suppose to give up this or join that and in the end I just felt like a quitter. So for the last 3 years I stopped making resolutions and decided to learn better so that I could do better.
All the petty drama that you were experiencing last year let it go.
If there are toxic people in your life, let them go too (remember the 5 influences)
Do something that you’ve never done before. Maybe it’s a career change, or a new hobby, traveling etc..
Good luck in the new year!
When you are feeling down and out what do you do to make yourself feel better?
For myself, laughing is the instant cure! It comes very easy with having a husband who makes me laugh every chance he gets but what if no one was available? What else could possibly put you in better spirits?
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Listen to music. Particularly music that makes you want to move or can calm your nerves. Try to stay away from sad love songs or emo songs that could make you feel even more down in the dumps.
2. Watch a funny movie. Like I stated earlier laughing does the trick for myself and possibly for you. The silly roles of the actors just might take your mind away from reality for a bit.
3. Spiritual/meditation. Some people turn to a higher being of whom they believe in and some may need to just clear their mind in a quiet space(home or even a yoga class).
There are plenty of more ways to get yourself out of the “funk” but above all, keep your head up! Remember things can and will get better.
When it comes to life’s downfalls we are used to concentrating on the negatives. What about the good? Even with the craziness that we encounter each day, there must be “something” that was ok.
Try this exercise:
1. jot down all the significant events that took place during your day
2. on a scale of 1-5 (1-horrible 2-so/so 3-ok 4-good 5-great) score all the events
3. take the events that scored 3 or better and re-read them
If the amount of events that scored 3 or better out weighs the events that were lower than 3, try to have a better attitude about your day.
This will not be easy but can help. Train your mind to seek positivity. Remember Attitude affects altitude.
We are not going through life alone. Even those who may keep their circle small, are still connected or influenced by someone other than themselves.
If you plan to become successful, you have to think of those you surround yourself with or bounce ideas off of. Think of the expression “birds of a feather flock together” or “you are the company you keep”.
Think of 5 people that you speak to the most every day……..
Got them? Those 5 people have an influence in your life the most. Are you happy with your choices? If your answer is No to some or all, I suggest you begin to associate yourself with individuals who can have a positive impact or who share similar life goals.
Challenge yourself to think about your goals and how your associates have an impact on you? Do you settle? Are you at a stand still? Have you placed your goals on the back burner? Think about it
When I was in college I studied psychology. Out of all the famous psychologist we studied I really liked Beck! He practiced CBT which is cognitive behavioral therapy.
I do believe that if you change your way of thinking, your behaviors can and will eventually change. This leads back to my first post, it starts with your attitude.
Here’s a situation: Sally has an essay presentation to do for a scholarship. Sally is a good writer every paper she gets a B+ or better. Unfortunately, Sally doesn’t apply because she has anxiety about competing with others for the scholarship.
Does this sound familiar? Maybe it’s a job promotion, a Grant approval, legal or medical request, etc.. We all have been there. What I suggest is exploring CBT therapy. But let’s say going to a therapist isn’t your “thing”, do the good ole pro’s vs. cons.
CBT will ask Sally to bring realistic and positive cognitive thoughts. We could come to place where Sally believes she does deserve a chance to win the scholarship and should give herself a chance. Sally, if not confident in her essay draft can go to her favorite English professor or writing center for some feedback. Also, even if she is not chosen it does not reflect on her writing or her character.
Pro’s- being chosen for the scholarship.
Feeling great for herself and accomplishments.
Helps financially with school, so less student loan debt.
Con’s- missing out on possibly being chosen for the scholarship.
Having to take out student loans.
Feeling regrets which could lead to more anxiety.
People aren’t born with high self esteem it is something that is developed. Over time, it does improve as long as you are willing to have more positive attitudes/thoughts and a less negative approach.
Where do you fall between the two? Are you taking strides day by day in Life’s journey? or is Life simply passing you by?
We are all in this race to reach success, however, there are some that seem to be in the front line while others are straggling behind. Dont let life pass you by. Pick up the pace.
How can you pick up the pace you ask? I say try by changing your attititude first.