Tag: children

Topic of the day! Read below

For me this is a No. As Scholar, I do want my son (and any future child) to have a plan for their life. At 16-18 years old, college is an important decision which puts a strain of pressure on them at a young age. So, if he said, he’s not ready then I can respect that. If he said, community college, I will respect that. If he says I want to be a doctor which entails undergrad and med school, I will respect that too. More research for scholarships, more options at public colleges or state colleges. Why? Because I don’t want him to make the same mistakes that I did. This is not an attack on college because I do not regret my degrees, but I want my child to go at his pace not what I’m forcing him to do. ***Also, he will have to work during the time he’s trying to figure out his life.

Let me know!

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise

Where is the love Wednesdays: name changes after marriage and info

Hi friends!

Sorry for the delay of this post, but Happy Wednesday! 
So, someone I know got married recently and is about to go through the process of changing her name and identifications. I also have others near and dear to me who said they plan to hyphen their names or keep their maiden name. For myself, I changed my name to my husbands and I’m fine with that. When I share this with others, they say “oh, I don’t want to change my I.D.’s so I’ll just hyphen”. Well, you DO have to change your identification because once you fill out your marriage license to what your new surname will be that’s what needs to read on your identification. The only way you will Not have to update your I.D.’s is if you continue to use your Birth/maiden name. 
I want to know something, to those who plan to hyphen because of your own personal reasons, if or when if you choose to have children, will they have two surnames? I know in the Latino cultures, many children are given two surnames, but usually the child ends up going by the first surname anyway. So what are your thoughts?
Anyone can answer this question not just couples, and not just a particular sex. I’d like to know your opinions. Thanks!
Nicole Cherise

Feel good Friday’s : thoughts on my recent 30th birthday and thoughts of where we “should” be in life.

Hi all!!

So on yesterday, July 23rd, I turned 30 years old. In the past, the older I turned, I either was emotional because I felt I wasn’t where I was “suppose” to be or extremely excited. As I looked in the mirror yesterday I said to myself that I didn’t look a day over 25! Lol so my face was in constant bliss.  

 A few days before, a coworker said to me, “Nikki at 30, you have accomplished so much. You are married, have a son, job and your own place. Much better than it was for me when I turned 30. I just thought I’d be in a different place in life”. This “place” in life and where we are “supposed” to be is difficult and is not fair to ourselves.

I’ve done this  when I turned 25. I was sad because I felt that things weren’t mapped out like I wanted them to be and life was a tornado in my head. I wasn’t engaged yet ( Steve proposed that Christmas), still lived at home, not the career I wanted, and was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. However, as time went on I realized that everything happened for a reason. Things also fall into place when they are supposed to. People jump into marriages, live together, have children or constantly make compulsive decisions all because it’s what they believe they should do but not necessarily ready for. We get pressure from family, friends, society and ourselves when we should just relax and let things happen naturally. Now don’t get me wrong, do I believe it’s wrong to have plans and goals? No not at all, you should strive for greatness, but don’t beat yourself up about it. 

So I say this in close, things will happen at the right time. It may not be YOUR “perfect” time but it will come. In the mean time, love yourself and what you have now!

  
Nicole Cherise