This is the sad but true case for many families. How can an adult bring their emotions and vulnerability to their interpersonal relationships if that tool wasn’t given? Should EVERYTHING fall on the parents? No. However, emotional support to your children is just as important as physical and financial support.
Has this been you? Did you turn to another family member to provide that emotional support? Or did you find yourself doing the work on your own with a therapist?
What does the child do? Thoughts?
Thank you for reading!
Nicole Cherise ♥️
Hey all! Happy 2020 to you and your loved ones!
I was reading a devotion today and it spoke about how parents should make everything for their child a learning experience. As we know children asks a Ton of Questions or they try their best to figure out physical obstacles and usually need assistance.
I take pride in considering myself a learning mom. SVJ, has taught me a lot about parenting, patience and humility. I will be first to say “I don’t have it” and I’m not referring to monetary exchanges (low key sometimes lol) but more so in reference to “The Answers“.
I believe there is nothing wrong with telling your child or any child, that You don’t know the answer. I’d suggest even saying “let’s research together to see what we come up with”. I also believe that we can question the “norm”. It’s quite interesting to think out of the box.
I’m sure there are plenty of parents with this philosophy while I’m sure others feel the need to give an answer just to quiet their kids or their response is the status quo. Trust me parents, I’m not judging you at all. I’m just suggesting more ways to help our kids explore by us being Realistic.
What’s your thoughts parents? Are you honest with your kids and tell them that you don’t know? Do you allow your kids to question the norm? Let me know below! Thanks for Reading!
Nicole Cherise ♥️
As a parent, we do our best to raise our kids to be decent individuals. Even though there are tons of books on parenting, it’s just a role that you have to learn once your in it.
Some of the biggest mistakes that parents make is set the idea of who their child is in their heads versus learning who their child really is. Parents can have the thought that their child will get high marks in school like they did or become that all-star athlete like they were and it’s not fair. Parents also raise their children to be a certain way, obtain certain values and when that child goes astray, we sit and wonder “why?”.
Please do not take this post as me saying that we can’t set rules and the tone for the upbringing of our children. My point is that a certain point in the adolescent/young adult stage, we need to communicate with our kids. We need to understand their voice, likes/dislikes, how they see the world and thoughts about love, etc. Once this happens, your son or daughter will present their true selves to you. It doesn’t mean we have to agree or even like it, but we do have to show Respect to them.
Thank you for reading!
Nicole Cherise ♥️
I tell my son that I love him everyday. Many don’t feel the need to do that and would rather show it through their actions. Guess what? That’s perfectly fine. My Love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. Therefore, I will let others know how I feel and expect the same back, to feel loved. I love to give hugs and cuddles, so of course I love that back lol. However, As a mother, I also realize that children, express their love differently and like to receive love differently.
As parents, I think it’s vital to recognize both love languages of our own and of our children. The last thing that we want is for them to feel as if that component was missing in their childhood. We need to discover the layers to our children and unlock the layers of ourselves.
How do you all feel about that?
Thanks for reading and Happy Holidays!
Nicole Cherise ♥️
For me this is a No. As Scholar, I do want my son (and any future child) to have a plan for their life. At 16-18 years old, college is an important decision which puts a strain of pressure on them at a young age. So, if he said, he’s not ready then I can respect that. If he said, community college, I will respect that. If he says I want to be a doctor which entails undergrad and med school, I will respect that too. More research for scholarships, more options at public colleges or state colleges. Why? Because I don’t want him to make the same mistakes that I did. This is not an attack on college because I do not regret my degrees, but I want my child to go at his pace not what I’m forcing him to do. ***Also, he will have to work during the time he’s trying to figure out his life.
Let me know!
Thanks for reading!
Sorry for the delay of this post, but Happy Wednesday!
So, someone I know got married recently and is about to go through the process of changing her name and identifications. I also have others near and dear to me who said they plan to hyphen their names or keep their maiden name. For myself, I changed my name to my husbands and I’m fine with that. When I share this with others, they say “oh, I don’t want to change my I.D.’s so I’ll just hyphen”. Well, you DO have to change your identification because once you fill out your marriage license to what your new surname will be that’s what needs to read on your identification. The only way you will Not have to update your I.D.’s is if you continue to use your Birth/maiden name.
I want to know something, to those who plan to hyphen because of your own personal reasons, if or when if you choose to have children, will they have two surnames? I know in the Latino cultures, many children are given two surnames, but usually the child ends up going by the first surname anyway. So what are your thoughts?
Anyone can answer this question not just couples, and not just a particular sex. I’d like to know your opinions. Thanks!
So on yesterday, July 23rd, I turned 30 years old. In the past, the older I turned, I either was emotional because I felt I wasn’t where I was “suppose” to be or extremely excited. As I looked in the mirror yesterday I said to myself that I didn’t look a day over 25! Lol so my face was in constant bliss.
A few days before, a coworker said to me, “Nikki at 30, you have accomplished so much. You are married, have a son, job and your own place. Much better than it was for me when I turned 30. I just thought I’d be in a different place in life”. This “place” in life and where we are “supposed” to be is difficult and is not fair to ourselves.
I’ve done this when I turned 25. I was sad because I felt that things weren’t mapped out like I wanted them to be and life was a tornado in my head. I wasn’t engaged yet ( Steve proposed that Christmas), still lived at home, not the career I wanted, and was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. However, as time went on I realized that everything happened for a reason. Things also fall into place when they are supposed to. People jump into marriages, live together, have children or constantly make compulsive decisions all because it’s what they believe they should do but not necessarily ready for. We get pressure from family, friends, society and ourselves when we should just relax and let things happen naturally. Now don’t get me wrong, do I believe it’s wrong to have plans and goals? No not at all, you should strive for greatness, but don’t beat yourself up about it.
So I say this in close, things will happen at the right time. It may not be YOUR “perfect” time but it will come. In the mean time, love yourself and what you have now!