Tag: family

When feuding, What’s considered below the belt?

Hey guys!

This is always a topic of discussion when you have people who are arguing/feuding. I haven’t been in too many encounters where I’m at the blows with someone but I always had the attitude that you can say whatever you want about me but leave my family out of it.

I think that’s why I never liked “yo mama” jokes because I wasn’t having it. Is it suppose to be all fun? Yes. However, I’ve always felt some jokes had truth to it so in efforts to not unleash my temper, I decided I wasn’t going to participate in that lol 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Now, I know for some, they can ignore words about their family but have an issue if you disrespect their manhood/womanhood or their money. I agree those are below the belt references as well. Then again, you have some that do not care. They believe that nothing is off limits when going for the attack against you.

What are your thoughts friends? What do you consider below the belt or things that are off limits when you are fighting? Now this doesn’t only mean against an enemy, but this can be heated discussions with a significant other, friends, family, co-workers etc.. Let me know 🙃☺️

Thank you for reading!

Nicole Cherise ♥️

My feelings on Colorism amongst Black people.

Happy Monday friends!

Over the weekend, I’ve read articles in regards to colorism amongst Black people. The Light skin vs. Dark skin issues, dating preferences and what is truly considered beauty. Many of us know that for many years there has been a “European” standard, therefore, anything close to resembling that was considered beautiful. Since then, people have become more open-minded about the beauty in darker shades and of those with kinkier hair. We see this in commercials, film and advertisements. However, this tends to still be an issues within our community especially when it comes to dating.

I have no problem with people having a preference of what their type is, just as long as they aren’t putting down people who don’t fit that description. Men and women are able to date whoever they please and I do feel it’s unfair for men to get criticized and women don’t. For example: if a black man prefers light-skinned women or dark-skinned women that shouldn’t be an issue. If he’s not bad mouthing the other group it should be no problem. It is a problem to some women. I wonder if it’s because she might be attracted to him and feels that she was disqualified based on a reason that she has No control over. That woman would go on and call him out and say he’s foul for not liking a group of women. However, women have standards too and some are ridiculous 🤷🏾‍♀️. I know some women who have preference of their men to be: over 6 feet tall, dark and muscular. So that cancels out a shorter, light skin men with a pudge belly, whom could be a really sweet person. But the sistas don’t get called out on that. When a man does let them know how it feels the conversation becomes “different” when it’s truly not.

We also have black people who create a status based on skin tone. Meaning they have associate with certain shades of people so that they can stand out or even feel included. Some people get excited to befriend the woman or man who seems to have it “made” for them. Mind you, that’s a theory that some just put in their own heads.

Hate to write this but this happens even in families. Some relatives are brainwashed and favor certain kids over the next because of their skin tones. I’ve heard stories where BOTH skin tones were ostracized and it’s so wrong. Ignore the family too, they do NOT know better because if they did, we wouldn’t have this discussion. Because let’s face it, some families encourage their children to produce with only certain type of people or skin tones.

Now this post isn’t to make anyone in the black community feel bad. I actually want you to you to take this and do the opposite. I want you to love the skin that you were blessed with! If You meet a woman/man who has a different preference than how you appear, that’s ok wish them well and on to the next one. Don’t get bitter, aim for Better. Love your skin, your features, your hair, God blessed you with it and KNOW that you are amazing! Ignore the insults because at the end of the day, it’s their lost.

Thoughts? Have you felt like this? Let me know below in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Nicole Cherise♥️

As a MS patient, my dear loved ones, I’m trying. 

In the past 8 years, I’ve battle symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. I’m an open book about this, therefore it’s no secret. I like to spread awareness so that others who are afraid, can Know they are not alone. Not only does MS have physical challenges but it also makes us schedule our lives differently.

I often cry to myself because I would make plans with people that I love and have to cancel because I don’t feel well. It’s hard to believe because on the outside, I “appear” to have it together. Yes, my fro is in place, my clothes look neat, I made it to work (somehow), I smile in selfies (hey, I like to take pics 💁🏾), I upload pics of my family but the truth is, it takes a lot of me to do those things. 

I want my family, friends and church family  to know that I truly love you all. I appreciate your words of kindness, prayers and guidance. I miss the “old” Nik all the time. I loved being able to just get up and go  and attend most events that people hosted. Now, that I’m a wife and mom, they are my immediate family. I try to be there for them during the moments I do have some additional energy while working full time. That doesn’t mean that I love any of you less or that I don’t want be a better family member, better friend, or church sister. God forbid if things went left and the disease progress agressively (which could happen), it’s going to be my husband and son who are obligated to step in as Caregivers. Doesn’t that mean that other family and friends can’t help? No, but you all have families as well to attend to. I’m a selfless person especially about that. Don’t stop plans, or life because of little ole me. Heck, I even feel that way for husband and son too. 

I also can’t forget the grieving that I’m still trying to process. At times, I’m just sad and want to be Still. I want to seek comfort from God’s promises and rest. While at rest, I’m mentally,  emotionally and physically calming down from stress. Losing my father and Goddaughter is a type pain that I never experienced and trust me, I’m doing my best. 


Through it all, I believe things will get better, I will get better. My relationships will grow better. I love you all and I ask that you don’t give up on me. I don’t need sympathy, just patience and understanding. Thank you 🙏🏾

Nicole Cherise

The vicious cycle

Eveyone has a past. Every Past has hurt and pain. They say History repeats itself. Therefore, a vicious cycle returns. Do we have to encourage that? Can we be apart of a group that says “I’m not going to repeat those actions”? 

Face the Facts

Families suffer from drug and alcohol abuse, finances, infidelity, lack of education, gang lifestyles and the list goes on. You don’t have to fall into those categories. You can choose to learn what Not to do. You can get out of a toxic environment. You don’t have to fall victim.

I pray and hope this can reach someone. We know many who need to end this cycle, including ourselves. 

Thanks for reading

Nicole Cherise ❤️

They know them but not intimately…


Hey great people!

Have you ever been in this position before? It’s not easy but something we have to remember is that our significant other is known and different to others in their lives.  

In other words, you know your mate intimately, their parents knows them as their son or daughter and friends know them as a friend. Those categories are not the same and you really can’t get advice from the different parties. That does not mean that family and friends couldn’t listen or give two cents, but take it like a grain of salt. 

Nicole Cherise ❤

Thanksgiving reflections

The holidays are tough when you’re missing loved ones at the dining room table. Life isn’t the same, but you realize just how much we need to cherish life.  

As I look around, I’m watching my husband, son, mother and my in-laws laughing and eating, I drift into my own world. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. Their presence gives me the energy that I need to get by. 
I also realize that at this point of the year, it’s time to game plan for the new year. I have a list of goals that I am working hard to meet. I will keep you all posted. I’m very excited because when you accomplish something new, you feel unstoppable. 
I’m thankful for all of you who take the time to read my posts and follow my journey. Blessings to you all!
Nicole Cherise❤️

2 comments

Family and friends don’t forgive so be mindful of who you tell your bizz.

Hi friends! Happy where is the love Wednesdays!

If there is one thing I’ve learned while being with Steve for almost 16 years is that, relationships will have it’s up and downs and who you share personal stories with is crucial. 
I do believe you can vent to someone that you can confide in, to give you that listening ear and some insight. However, if you are constantly complaining about all the wrongs your SO is doing, trust me no one wants to hear about the “good” things happening. Is it fair? No, but that’s the way it is. Your family and friends will always remember the wrongs and won’t forgive like you would. Plus, we say a lot of things out of anger and frustration, so those family members/friends will be furious as well. 
Do you share all the scoop in your relationship? If so, have you had the issues of friends or family not forgiving?
Thanks for reading!
Nicole Cherise❤️