Nicole Cherise ❤️
Hi friends! Happy where is the love Wednesdays!
If there is one thing I’ve learned while being with Steve for almost 16 years is that, relationships will have it’s up and downs and who you share personal stories with is crucial.
I do believe you can vent to someone that you can confide in, to give you that listening ear and some insight. However, if you are constantly complaining about all the wrongs your SO is doing, trust me no one wants to hear about the “good” things happening. Is it fair? No, but that’s the way it is. Your family and friends will always remember the wrongs and won’t forgive like you would. Plus, we say a lot of things out of anger and frustration, so those family members/friends will be furious as well.
Do you share all the scoop in your relationship? If so, have you had the issues of friends or family not forgiving?
Thanks for reading!
So I was listening to “ask Angela Yee” on the breakfast club this morning and a guy called asking what to do about the lack of love he is receiving from his lady. He was questioning should he leave the relationship or stay and “do him”? Later he revealed that he cheated in the past and she forgave him but has still been cold and distant.
My response is this: once you have cheated on someone the trust is broken and needs to be repaired. Every time your partner looks at you they could have flashes of you looking and touching another the same way. That is not an easy pill to swallow. However, they looked deep in their hearts and forgave you.
You MUST be patient with your significant other. You can’t just have this “I said sorry so get over it attitude”. That is another selfish act of you when you do that. We all handle things differently and getting cheated on to some is like grieving because of piece of them died (trust) and things won’t be the same.
Hope does prevail though. If your partner was able to forgive, I suggest that you do all that is possible so that you are NOT in a position to cheat again, treat your man or woman like the King and Queen that they are, give the security that it is all about you both to move forward, and be PATIENT to just to name a few. If you can’t do this or think it’s too much then let them go.
On the other side, if you DID decide to forgive your partner for cheating it doesn’t mean you should forget but you do have find a way to move past their indiscretion. I’m not saying the next day you act like nothing has happened but if you throw it in their face everyday maybe you should re-think if you truly forgive them. If it’s too hard it’s ok for it to be a deal breaker no matter how much it hurts. You have to do what’s best for you and your sanity.
What are your thoughts?
Forgiveness and Moving on (letting go)
Two things that should go hand in hand yet so challenging.
When someone does something to hurt you, for most its easier to just stay mad at them and cut them out of your life. What if it were a family member? a best friend from childhood? or your life partner? Not that simple? Indeed, it can be more difficult to turn the other cheek when it involves people you love and care about.
In our minds, we expect our closest to “KNOW BETTER” when in reality they are human. Humans are not perfect and will mess up. Your closest will say hurtful things, do hurtful things and let you down. Guess what?…So will YOU.
I do understand, that we all have limits. If someone (even the closest to you) did something beyond your limits and you can’t allow yourself to forgive them, ok so be it. I do believe that you need to Let go, so you can be able to live your life to the fullest. It doesn’t make sense to mope around in a depressive state when the other person is going to bed happy at night. On the other hand, if you do decide to forgive them, you have to communicate.
Communication aka Reconciliation can help you come to better terms. Express how the events made you feel and how you can work towards making the relationship better. Allow the person to express themself and clear his or her conscious as well. You will be surprised of the reasonings behind their actions regardless of your disapproval.
Think about it, havent you made someone upset or had an argument and wanted to get your point across? or tell your reasoning for what you did or didn’t do? I guess you expect people to give you another chance as well right? It goes BOTH ways friends.
This will not be an easy task to achieve and you may Not like it, but the benefit of relieving stress and letting go of toxic anger, is worth it for your mind, body and soul.
Nikki Rob., MA