Where is the love Wednesday: it’s not good to change them

Hi Friends!

This is from my Bible app plan. The topic is motherhood. I completely agree with this devotional by Karen. 

Many times in a relationship, especially in a marriage, many think they can change their spouses into their “perfect image”. That’s not fair because it will cause conflict between the two. When you said “I Do” it was to all of them not just some or the parts you like of them. 

Marriage vs Baby

Hi friends!

What scares you the most Getting married or having a child?

I’ve heard many people say they are scared to get married yet are fine with having a child. 

Personally, becoming a parent has been the scariest task ever. From pregnancy, birth and raising another human who NEEDS you 24/7 365/366 is the most important job to have. Therefore, I’m constantly worried and at times can be overwhelmed but in a good way 😊.

What are your thoughts?

Nicole Cherise ❤

Where is the love Wednesdays: name changes after marriage and info

Hi friends!

Sorry for the delay of this post, but Happy Wednesday! 
So, someone I know got married recently and is about to go through the process of changing her name and identifications. I also have others near and dear to me who said they plan to hyphen their names or keep their maiden name. For myself, I changed my name to my husbands and I’m fine with that. When I share this with others, they say “oh, I don’t want to change my I.D.’s so I’ll just hyphen”. Well, you DO have to change your identification because once you fill out your marriage license to what your new surname will be that’s what needs to read on your identification. The only way you will Not have to update your I.D.’s is if you continue to use your Birth/maiden name. 
I want to know something, to those who plan to hyphen because of your own personal reasons, if or when if you choose to have children, will they have two surnames? I know in the Latino cultures, many children are given two surnames, but usually the child ends up going by the first surname anyway. So what are your thoughts?
Anyone can answer this question not just couples, and not just a particular sex. I’d like to know your opinions. Thanks!
Nicole Cherise

Where is the love Wednesdays :why you shouldn’t give up on love because of failed relationships 

Hi Friends!
This seems to be a topic amongst people 30+ who aren’t married, single parents or recent unfortunate break ups. It truly breaks my heart when I hear people say these things, especially when they have so much to offer. After going through a break up or if you are currently in a “dead-in” relationship, that doesn’t mean that no one would want you or you are doomed to be single forever. It simply means that you and the ex are not a good pair. He or she is Not the person you should continue to put in the hard work for especially if they aren’t working hard or decided to call it quits.
During a break up, I encourage others to do some soul searching and to reevaluate themselves. Look back at things that went wrong. Do you see how certain situations could have been prevented? Can you own up to Your part of why things went sour? Have you learned more about yourself after the storm has calmed? In a relationship, you are not set to be changed or to change the person you are with and to “create” the perfect person. You are meant to have growth and to inspire one another. If you constantly try to force them to be something they are not and vice versa, you are already headed for disaster. Next time go for who Exactly you want. 
So the “love of your life” doesn’t love you anymore and now you feel unlovable. Please don’t feel that way. You are able to love and receive it, just be careful who you allow to come in your most vulnerable place. You said that you have a child and who is going to want you? A person possibly with the same dynamic or someone who Will love you and your child(s). A child is a blessing, and someone with a genuine heart can see first hand how you can love someone else other than yourself. They will truly appreciate you and respect you for being a great parent and could also accept the hold as their own. Lastly, age… Since when is it ok to put a deadline on love? That’s possibly one of Your issues you need to battle. Our generation wants things so quickly and for what? The title? The status? I don’t know, but like anything else, it comes with dedication and hard work. So what if you are 30+ and still single, have you thought to yourself, what a wife or husband should be and if you are all around ready? People love the idea of marriage because of the “dream” wedding, but the substance that comes after is key. If you are selfish in many different aspects of life, I’m sorry, but that can’t fly in a marriage. Therefore, while we focus on age, we really should focus on the maturity that’s needed for marriage.
If any of these things apply to you, I pray that my words can bring some relief. I’m here if you need me.
Nicole Cherise

Feel good Friday’s 

Hi all!

This is my view from our room in Nassau Bahamas. I must say that it is absolutely beautiful. Things in my life have been such a roller coaster and I’m so happy to share some time alone with Stephen. It’s times like this when you realize that you do have to regroup and recharge yourself mentally, spiritually and emotionally. The peacefulness of the waters offers that alone. 
Enjoy your Friday everyone and Feel Good!
Nicole Cherise 

Where is the love Wednesdays: marriage you give 100%

Hey everyone! Happy Wednesday! 

I saw this post on someone’s fb page last night and I felt it was so true. There used to be saying that “we should be 50/50 or meet me half way”. I don’t agree with that especially in a marriage. In a marriage, you should meet your spouse the whole way and give it your 100%. I could almost guarantee that if you half do anything in a marriage or don’t give it your all, it will come to a messy end. 

Think about it. Do you want to be honest 50% of the time? Should you and your spouse love each other 75% of the time? Should your spouse only be faithful 25% of the time? Of course the answers are no. So, do your best and give it 100 and nothing less.
I don’t want to exclude other committed couples. If you are engaged or living together, giving 100% is important too. So start now if you haven’t already! Lol
What are your thoughts? 
Nicole Cherise

Where is the love Wednesdays: Marriage and the big day

Hello all!

This past weekend has been a great one! My DH and I witnessed two weddings of our friends. I always enjoyed attending weddings because I feel it’s sacred, it’s one of the times that you have the honor of seeing the love shared by the couple. It also brings brings great memories of my big day. I am a person who believes in love and I felt with it is “where is the love Wednesdays “, I could speak on marriage and the big day. 
The Big Day
I remember re-writing my wedding vows over so that I wouldn’t stumble over my words when I read them. As I was writing my hands were shaking and tears filled in my eyes. I couldn’t believe after a 20 months of being engaged, the day finally came. From the moment I meant my husband down the isle, it seemed like time stood still. As we exchanged our personal vows, it was so surreal. Once we were pronounced husband and wife, it seems like the day flew by! I tell all my friends who are engaged or newly weds that the day goes by so enjoy every moment. 
Life after your wedding
Marriage is beautiful. You and your spouse are now immediate family. In the event if anything ever happens to you, your spouse is the next of kin. Many may not understand how important that is but your spouse comes first and should. You have to remain best friends, honest, intimate, understanding, playful and last but not least, date forever. I recommend dating forever because as time goes on its very easy to fall into a “routine” and get stuck in a rut. Therefore, continue to have date night, spend quality time together and go on “new adventures” together.  
So to the new couples: many blessings to your marriage and enjoy each other! For the veteran couples: Keep it fun and never forget why you decided to make this big step in your lives. To the engaged and committed couples, love is the root for the union, start now to have those accomplished roots. Remember make Love not War. 
Nicole Cherise

Where is the love Wednesdays: picking your battles

Hey everyone! It’s Hump Day but on my blog it’s “Where is the Love? Wednesdays”. Today’s topic is picking your battles.

When you and your significant other have decided to have courtship; you’ve decided that you both are committed  and are working towards getting engaged then married. This time period you both are madly in love, spend plenty of time together and have learned each other. When I say learned each other I’m referring to knowing:

  1. What he or she likes/dislikes
  2. Their strengths and imperfections 
  3. Their goals in life (family,career, personal etc..)
  4. You also continue to see the beauty in him or her and the not so beautiful aspect as well. 

With that being noted, couples will clearly bump heads about things. Even the “perfect pair” will have arguments. Rather it’s big or small, arguments will come but which ones are worth having is up to you. I always advise friends to pick your battles in their relationship. The last thing you want is to be feuding with your partner 60% of your time shared especially when in two weeks you wont truly remember why the frustrations took place. 

You want to be able to have peace with the love of your life for sanity purposes too. Think about it, people every day will try to knock you down and belittle you, the last thing you need is to be at war with your sweetheart non-stop. Therefore, choosing your battles  is vital during these times. If that means you may have to take a walk, blow off some steam at the gym, say a silent prayer to be more calm so be it. Do what you need to cause less friction in your relationship so that you can effectively communicate with your other half.

I hope these tips help. Thanks for reading friends!

Nicole Cherise 

Spending time during the first year of marriage

Hi all!

I wanted to discuss the importance of spending time during  the first year of marriage. Any stage of marriage is very important but many say the hardest is the first year. I believe it’s because two souls are becoming one and learning to juggle the “newness” of marriage to your relationship. 

On 8/9, my husband and I will celebrate 3 years of marriage. We are high school sweethearts and we basically grew up together as a couple. I believe this has helped us during the first year. We are each other’s best friend and loved spending time together. Which brings me to say that for newlyweds: Please spend time with your spouse.

With having a busy schedule from work, we tend to see our co-workers more than our family aka your new husband/wife. So, if you don’t make time for your spouse, what are you truly doing with your time? You must find a balance. Even though you are married it doesn’t mean that you lose your identity or should distant yourself from friends but it would be good to always consider your spouse on some “down time”.  

What are your thoughts? Do you think spending time with your spouse weighs a lot during the first year? 

Thanks all!

Nicole Cherise

Respect in a Marriage

imagesI’m 29 and will be 30 in July. From reading my blog you will know that I am happily married to my HS sweetheart and we have a beautiful son. Hubby and I have been together since 2000 and when we got married on 8/9/12 and it was the best day of my life. Many couples in my age range are either married or getting married and I’m very happy about that. I believe in marriage and if it were up to me, I would strongly urge couples to do so when they are ready.

Many couples have their own do’s and don’ts when it comes to what should or shouldn’t happen in their marriage. Therefore, what may work for one couple doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for another.
However, with that being said, all couples will agree that Respect in a marriage is needed.
When you are single (not married), you have freedoms and may feel that you don’t have to answer to your significant other, when you get married that changes. Your spouse becomes your equal and a reflection of you. No, I do not believe you should lose your identity just because you have tied the knot, but the happiness of your spouse should be a priority. The moment you place something or someone over your spouse, He or She will feel like they are on a back burner and in some cases possibly abandoned. Those actions will cause friction and resentment which could lead to the “D” word if you allow it to. It doesn’t matter how long you have been married rather it be 5 months or 25 years, when the respect is gone, so is the romance, partnership and last but not least the friendship.

For all newly engaged and married couples, I always give the one piece of advice “REMAIN BEST FRIENDS”. When you view your spouse as a best friend, you will do all you can to assure them that they are loved by you, you will aim to please them and their happiness ultimately makes YOU HAPPY. Respect, in order to get it, you have to give it. It’s a MUST in a MARRIAGE.

Nicole Cherise

If you are a couple that struggles with this, please feel free to email me :nicolecherise723@gmail.com

*all emails are confidential and will not be shared*