Tag: Partners

 Breaking bad

Where is the love Wednesdays:

When in a relationship, we should aim to not make the same mistakes over and over. The truth is, we have a past and possibly got away with many tricks and antics with others, but at some point you have to break those old bad habits. Your significant other can see the potential in you, but won’t stick around for repeated disrespect. As adults, we know that if you do the same thing over and over it is not a mistake it’s a habit. You have to question yourself, “how would I feel if this happened to me?”. 
Breaking bad those habits that may cause a strain on your relationship. Break the bad attitude towards your partner. Break the chains that’s stopping reconciliation. Most importantly, break the vicious cycle of habitual lying, abuse, cheating, etc. Claim victory in your relationship and victory within yourself. 
Thank you for reading friends
Nicole Cherise

Where is the Love? : is it truth or jealousy?

Hi Friends! I’m sorry that I didn’t post yesterday. It was a busy day, but I’m here today with a topic.

In a previous post, I wrote about having cheerleaders in your circle and the benefits. I also wrote about the Debbie downers to look out for. With writing that, I want to make a point that when someone tells you something you may not want to hear, it’s not always jealousy or “hating”. Constructive criticism is a healthy way to receive information and it can be the truth.
We tend to see this when it comes to life choices. Rather, it’s career decisions, relationship situations, conflict amongst family and friends; sometimes when someone doesn’t agree with you it’s not always a negative. Everyone is not always out to get us, we create that in our thoughts as a defense mechanism instead of tackling the problem head on. 
We, as people, need to understand that we are in this journey called life together. A true colleague and loved one is going to tell you the truth. This is also how you weed out the “fake snakes” in your circle. I’d be scared if my loved ones agreed with everything I’ve said or thought ALL my ideas were destined to work! 
So you are in the search of love, but yet you are currently being mistreated. The older we get, people understand that relationships have bumpy roads and certain tests need to be presented. However, I always tell my friends be careful what you share when you are emotional because Family and Friends do not forgive like we would. Therefore, if those close to you see that you as an individual is being broken down and your significant other is bringing out the worst in you, they are Not hating. Sometimes it takes someone looking from the outside to tell you that. Real supporters of Us will tell us if we are wrong and will not always be the “hype” man. 
So where is the love? It starts from within, and it gets projected out to who are very close and dear to our hearts. I’m so thankful for my family and friends. They truly keep me on my toes, give me the truth and constructive criticism. 
Do you have that type of support? Are you always in a battle of trying to recognize if someone is telling you the Ugly truth or is Jealous? If so, or you know someone who has this issue, feel free to contact me ☺️
Nicole Cherise 

Where is the love Wednesdays: picking your battles

Hey everyone! It’s Hump Day but on my blog it’s “Where is the Love? Wednesdays”. Today’s topic is picking your battles.

When you and your significant other have decided to have courtship; you’ve decided that you both are committed  and are working towards getting engaged then married. This time period you both are madly in love, spend plenty of time together and have learned each other. When I say learned each other I’m referring to knowing:

  1. What he or she likes/dislikes
  2. Their strengths and imperfections 
  3. Their goals in life (family,career, personal etc..)
  4. You also continue to see the beauty in him or her and the not so beautiful aspect as well. 

With that being noted, couples will clearly bump heads about things. Even the “perfect pair” will have arguments. Rather it’s big or small, arguments will come but which ones are worth having is up to you. I always advise friends to pick your battles in their relationship. The last thing you want is to be feuding with your partner 60% of your time shared especially when in two weeks you wont truly remember why the frustrations took place. 

You want to be able to have peace with the love of your life for sanity purposes too. Think about it, people every day will try to knock you down and belittle you, the last thing you need is to be at war with your sweetheart non-stop. Therefore, choosing your battles  is vital during these times. If that means you may have to take a walk, blow off some steam at the gym, say a silent prayer to be more calm so be it. Do what you need to cause less friction in your relationship so that you can effectively communicate with your other half.

I hope these tips help. Thanks for reading friends!

Nicole Cherise 

Embracing Pregnancy

Normally the type of post I write are geared towards relationships, career goals and encouragement. I’ve slightly touched on a few personal experiences until now… Yep My husband and I are 9 months pregnant with our first child. I’m beyond excited, nervous, and anxious all in one. I decided to blog on this topic because in my eyes I believe pregnancy is not only embraced by the mother (or surrogate) carrying the child but it’s also embraced by her significant other.
I would be lying if I said that I’m the only one pregnant or expecting. My husband and I are expecting our first child and we are pregnant. The things that are constantly running through my head are definitely running in his. Yes men and women have concerns and some are from different angles of thinking but it’s all the same, how to be a great parent and life changes due to the wellness and upbringing of their child.
I do realize that unfortunately this is not the reality for all parents and couples. An expectant mother and father could both feel isolated. In the sense that the mother is experiencing so many changes in her body, hormones and appearance in which her partner is not. Even the father, may feel isolated because all the attention is no longer on him which may be because the dynamics of the relationship had changed. What I believe is key is to continue to communicate and to remember the baby comes from love. Babies are truly a blessing and I’m so happy to embark this new journey.

What do you look for in a partner?

hey peeps!

As the older we get, many of us begin to want to have a companion/partner/bf/gf/spouse. Many people don’t like to start anything serious with someone else until their careers are in order, or simply because they are not ready. When the time does come for change, when you are ready to share yourself with another, what do you look for?

I’m sure these answers vary from women to men and many confuse needs and wants when choosing a mate.

Basics-Face Value/Appearance
When we meet someone, what is the first thing you think of or see? We see their face and if we establish if we are attracted to them. Many may say it’s shallow to think about looks but let’s be honest, if you have not associated yourself with the person to get to know him or her, how else can you make a judgement?

Education
Do you think education matters? Does this person have to be a high school graduate or is having a higher degree a necessity? Does it really come down to where you are professionally? Do you feel they have to be on the same level or better than you?

Socio-Economic Status and Salary
Does what economic class he or she falls under matter? Does how much money he or she earns play a role? I know this is definitely a touchy subject because by this point if you know this much about a person, there is a possibility that you may be fond of him or her. So if you figure out that this person doesn’t meet your standards, is that a deal breaker?

History
This can be family dynamics, job history, substance abuse and even crime history. I know the history of a person can be debatable because people do rehabilitate and can change for the better however, its possible that old habits can linger around and people may not have the patience for that.

Culture/Beliefs
Many people have different family customs and traditions. The practice of a different religion can be a major reason for people to grow closer or apart. Political views/positions can seal the deal on a perspective mate.

These are just a few decision makers for people in the dating game and partner search. I recommend knowing Your value, knowing what you NEED in a partner, and knowing what you WON’T tolerate or ACCEPT in a potential mate.

Good Luck!!!