This seems to be a topic amongst people 30+ who aren’t married, single parents or recent unfortunate break ups. It truly breaks my heart when I hear people say these things, especially when they have so much to offer. After going through a break up or if you are currently in a “dead-in” relationship, that doesn’t mean that no one would want you or you are doomed to be single forever. It simply means that you and the ex are not a good pair. He or she is Not the person you should continue to put in the hard work for especially if they aren’t working hard or decided to call it quits.
During a break up, I encourage others to do some soul searching and to reevaluate themselves. Look back at things that went wrong. Do you see how certain situations could have been prevented? Can you own up to Your part of why things went sour? Have you learned more about yourself after the storm has calmed? In a relationship, you are not set to be changed or to change the person you are with and to “create” the perfect person. You are meant to have growth and to inspire one another. If you constantly try to force them to be something they are not and vice versa, you are already headed for disaster. Next time go for who Exactly you want.
So the “love of your life” doesn’t love you anymore and now you feel unlovable. Please don’t feel that way. You are able to love and receive it, just be careful who you allow to come in your most vulnerable place. You said that you have a child and who is going to want you? A person possibly with the same dynamic or someone who Will love you and your child(s). A child is a blessing, and someone with a genuine heart can see first hand how you can love someone else other than yourself. They will truly appreciate you and respect you for being a great parent and could also accept the hold as their own. Lastly, age… Since when is it ok to put a deadline on love? That’s possibly one of Your issues you need to battle. Our generation wants things so quickly and for what? The title? The status? I don’t know, but like anything else, it comes with dedication and hard work. So what if you are 30+ and still single, have you thought to yourself, what a wife or husband should be and if you are all around ready? People love the idea of marriage because of the “dream” wedding, but the substance that comes after is key. If you are selfish in many different aspects of life, I’m sorry, but that can’t fly in a marriage. Therefore, while we focus on age, we really should focus on the maturity that’s needed for marriage.
If any of these things apply to you, I pray that my words can bring some relief. I’m here if you need me.
I come across conversations like this often. Would you rather be in relationships that fail all because you don’t like being lonely or would you take the time to better yourself and remain single?
So much comes along with relationships and one thing to know is that doors should be closed before opening a new one. Many times the reasons why new relationships dissolve quickly are because lessons Not being learned, not being completely over your ex and comparing someone new to your ex. So, if all of these things can happen, why put yourself through the headache and just take your time? The answer is, people don’t want to be lonely. At a certain point in life, no one wants to be the “third wheel” or always single with no date to the invited dinner party. People want someone to share an intimate companionship with a person who isn’t a relative or friend. It just saddens me that people would go through all measures of drama and heartache just all for the sake of saying “I have someone”.
Why not take the time to better yourself? is what I ask. A friends once told me that she took the time to date herself. When I first heard that it made perfect sense. With dating you are learning about the other person. If you date yourself, you are truly taking the time to evaluate yourself. You learn your flaws and strengths; likes and dislikes; you pamper yourself for your self. I advise people often that self love is the best love. There are certain happiness that people expect to get from a potential mate, however, you need to find your own happiness first. When you better yourself, and you meet someone, your life could be at a better place mentally, emotionally and physically.
What are your thoughts? Do you think it’s easier to be single and rediscover yourself or is it easier to be in a relationship just for the sake to have someone even if you are still damaged?