Tag: standards

Me, play victim as a black woman?

You say for me to stop making myself a victim. Ok how am I making myself a victim when you come after me?

You see me and say: “You’re  pretty for a dark skin woman” 

I tell you about my high school education and you said it was so high because of lower standards given to minority students and on other scales, I wouldn’t be considered that smart. 

You say I need to have a model physique but my thighs are too thick and rub together. Also, My post-parting belly isn’t ok.

You complain about wearing weaves but yet My hair is too kinky and nappy and should be straightened if I want to be accepted. 

I’m too loud and I’m bitch when I discuss things I’m passionate about.

If I wear a mini skirt, I shouldn’t get upset by negative attention.

No I don’t walk around with a sign that says judge me or that I pity myself. However, with your negative comments without even knowingme,  does make me wonder “am I truly playing victim as black Woman?”

Thanks,

Nicole Cherise ❤️

Maybe you should try different


If you want a different outcome, you have to choose differently in a mate or fix the way you are in relationships. Time and time, I’ve had conversations with people and they’re confused about why their relationships end the same way or there is no commitment. 

This is when standards come into play. If you don’t have standards or any sort of self control rules, the same mistakes will occur. 
If you want to follow the principles of your religion, do it. If someone isn’t respectful of your values of waiting for marriage to have sex then leave. You do not need to jeopardize your faith for anyone.
If you don’t want to be physical, but choose to because that’s all you know, please don’t be disappointed when he/she disappears or doesn’t want a relationship. Courtship is real and does exist. 
If after having standards, self control and things are still going wrong, possibly it can be a pattern of people you are choosing. Step out of the box. Maybe dating a man/woman that you normally wouldn’t go for, could be the piece to the mysterious puzzle. 
You can have happiness and you will. It begins with you. 
Nicole Cherise ❤

What do you look for in a partner?

hey peeps!

As the older we get, many of us begin to want to have a companion/partner/bf/gf/spouse. Many people don’t like to start anything serious with someone else until their careers are in order, or simply because they are not ready. When the time does come for change, when you are ready to share yourself with another, what do you look for?

I’m sure these answers vary from women to men and many confuse needs and wants when choosing a mate.

Basics-Face Value/Appearance
When we meet someone, what is the first thing you think of or see? We see their face and if we establish if we are attracted to them. Many may say it’s shallow to think about looks but let’s be honest, if you have not associated yourself with the person to get to know him or her, how else can you make a judgement?

Education
Do you think education matters? Does this person have to be a high school graduate or is having a higher degree a necessity? Does it really come down to where you are professionally? Do you feel they have to be on the same level or better than you?

Socio-Economic Status and Salary
Does what economic class he or she falls under matter? Does how much money he or she earns play a role? I know this is definitely a touchy subject because by this point if you know this much about a person, there is a possibility that you may be fond of him or her. So if you figure out that this person doesn’t meet your standards, is that a deal breaker?

History
This can be family dynamics, job history, substance abuse and even crime history. I know the history of a person can be debatable because people do rehabilitate and can change for the better however, its possible that old habits can linger around and people may not have the patience for that.

Culture/Beliefs
Many people have different family customs and traditions. The practice of a different religion can be a major reason for people to grow closer or apart. Political views/positions can seal the deal on a perspective mate.

These are just a few decision makers for people in the dating game and partner search. I recommend knowing Your value, knowing what you NEED in a partner, and knowing what you WON’T tolerate or ACCEPT in a potential mate.

Good Luck!!!